669 days…
Lately, when I am on the treadmill in the mornings, I’ve taken to holding onto the bars, shutting my eyes and zoning out for the 40 or so minutes I’m on there for. (The ‘holding on’ is necessary or I’ll fall off the blessed thing).
Well, OK, not all that time … I need to spend the first 5 minutes moaning, watching the timer countdown, watching my pulse rate climb from 72 to 155 bpm, and feeling like I may die any minute from the sheer exertion … but after that when I settle into a rhythm… I can zone out.
….and listen to music.
I’ve learned not to play The Luckiest or Last Day on Earth while I’m on the treadmill though, or I can’t breathe for crying.
But this morning, Come Back Again by Daddy Cool was on the playlist and I remembered us dancing with wild abandon at a wedding. Having fun with it. Your strong arms around me. Busting out with silly crazy moves. Oblivious to all others.Laughing.
…and it was such s golden memory.
…but I really do need you to ‘come back again’
I miss you.
I love you.
XA
I have just spent about three hours reading your story (found it after my niece listed it on her blog). Tears in my eyes and in my heart for you – I can so fully feel and understand your yearning for your husband to be with you, for his accident not to have happened at all.
I live in NQ and had a smile when you mentioned the crater, and Herberton train.
I hope the writing down of your thoughts, emotions and feelings is helping.
Thanks Col. FNQ is really such a small place and I still have friends there (sadly – a Christmas card addressed to Greg and I from one couple meant I had to dash off a note letting them know what had happened – so easy to miss letting people know…).
Does the Herberton steam train still run?
I hope the new year brings you peace and more days that you can get through without breaking your heart!! You are a brave woman and your children are blessed to have a mum like you!
I love you.
I have had to change ALL my songs on my ipod to nothing that reminds me of TBBT, so I totally get it.