and its 39 days since our last family hug.

Today was good. Mum and I took the kids to the shops. We had lunch. It felt normal.

The JP signed all the forms – I can now send off your superannuation forms and hopefully unlock some money.
Terry came over this arvo. he took some roll cages away with him to sell at his garage sale. I gave him the parts washer – I hope that’s OK. But its funny … I said to Mum that I remember leaving the same shopping centre when K was only a baby and something flew out from under the bonnet of the car. I pulled over under some shady trees at the side of the road and rang RACQ … who only wanted to tow the car… So I left K with Mum and walked back along the road, found the part that had been flung from the car, called you, described it and you were there within half an hour and replaced the broken bit and we were back home within the hour. Just another awesome way you showed me you loved me every day.
Anyway, this arvo, when Terry came around he said: “take my phone number. If your car breaks down anywhere any time, just call me and I’ll help you out”. So I gave him the parts washer and some BSF taps and dyes for his old engines. Hope that was OK, but I’m just so glad to have another Mr Fixit looking after me.

I think this is an example of the small ways I miss you. I have no idea how to look after the car. Remember when I lived in FNQ before you moved up to join me and I had to take the old VH to the mechanics? and how angry you were that he ripped me off and over-serviced the car? I miss that. Your determination that no one should ever take advantage of me.
I miss that love. That fierce love that thought of me in everything.

I thought (and still think) you were the *coolest* most gorgeous man I have ever met.

At the exact time you died, I was teaching a class and I remember bragging about how awesome you were to the kids … your knowledge, your car-smarts, your engineering skills … it fit so well into the lesson. being an engineer, you were always more reliable for talking about physics than this botanist-come-science-teacher ever will be.

I was (and still am)  so immensely proud of you: your kindness, your mind, your hobbies, your adventurous nature, your fitness, your strength, your love for the kids, your easy-going nature,  (and yes – the “other” stuff too ;).

You rocked my world.

I love you all the way to God and forever and forever Amen,