and 44 days since you’ve been gone.

Today was epic suckage and I’m sorry for breaking down and yelling at you.
I fell in a screaming heap this afternoon. I was OK but I’d had 4 successive bouts of “red groups” today (aka groups of 4-8 turd-children-from-hell) and I ended up making one kid leave the classroom with me and was fully going to sick Mr (Principal) on his butt but luckily Mrs (Tough Teacher) roared at the little bastard instead (rude little bugger he was)….. and then at the car H had a zillion green ants on him that bit him and I basically told him to suck it up because I couldn’t do any more than get his shirt off and pull out the mozzie clicker, and then I came home and tried to e-mail a very small-file-sized copy of the death certificate to the nice man at the health union so he can adjust our fees and then Helstra struck again and I lost e-mail and internet completely and then H was screaming in the bath and the kids were fighting and H begged for dinner and then didn’t eat any and it was like the last damn straw.  And of course sleep last night was screwed which didn’t help.

But then I switched the computer off at the wall only because it was less of a walk to do that than to walk downstairs and get the axe to chop the thing in half. … and then I had a shower, came back ,and voila! It’s working.

Of course, the swearing also helps enormously in these situations and is completely underrated as a tool to be employed by those on the brink of insanity. I may yet develop tourette’s so I can legitimately swear in public more often….

Anyway, Sorry.  Today was not good and I lost it … but regained it.  The kids are in bed and happy.  The kids at school got taught.  I’m still here.  I still love you.  It’s OK.  I’ll survive.

Miss you more and more each day

XA

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