108 days…..

Today was …. blah really.

The kids were all back at school today.  H probably wasn’t 100% well enough to be there, but he was happy enough…. plus I didn’t have any other childcare option today.  K is a bit listless – there’s something going on there but I’m not sure what.

While I was at school, the lovely M stopped by the prep room at morning tea time to check up on me.  She’s noticed that I’m not so good lately.  She doesn’t miss anything and is added to the list of people who can see straight through my brave face.
Anyway  –  she never told me that she’d split with her hubby last November and some of the things she’s been through since then have been truly horrific (I won’t go into detail but he’s been so horrible and now I’m worried about her ongoing safety).   She was almost in tears when she told me how often she’d wished that it was her hubby who had died (and not you) so she could have some peace ……and really, that would have suited me fine as well.
It’s really quite horrible the thoughts that cross my mind each day – the “why us?”  the “why not that freakshow of a human being who’s only out to hurt someone else?”.  Somehow, it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only evil witch in the world who wishes it was some complete bastard who died and not you…..
(…and you know M – she is one of the most loving, beautiful, intelligent women I know).

I’m off to the education farm tomorrow with about 50 preps.  No pay though – I’m going as a parent with H.  So is Mrs Mc.  This is good news as it is Friday tomorrow and so idiot teacher has the reigns … and at least there are two more of us who have a clue so the kids should have a fun day.

Better go shoo the kids off to bed so they are ready for a big day tomorrow…

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Memory of the day…

One of the first “dates” we went on – we took the Kawasaki 1100 up to the reservoir.  My first real dink on a “real” roadbike.  I think I was so high on adrenaline from being on the bike that I barely noticed anything else … except how completely gorgeous you were.  Seriously.  You were hawt.

I love you so much.

XA

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