109 days….

I went to the farm with the preps today – mostly good, but with a few niggles as idiot teacher basically sat back and couldn’t organise anything so the rest  of us just DID it.  That and the way some parents think that *their* child is the ONLY child in the class and are forever pushing them to the front of the queue.

I had a really hard time being there.  Not because of the farm or the kids, but it was out near Andrew’s old place and it was the first time I’d been back there without you.  I remember where you pulled the car over so that the then two-year-old K could get out and pee.  I remember the park we had a picnic lunch in after going to a christening.  I remember the restaurant we went to for Andrew’s 40th birthday… it was bitterly cold and I was heavily pregnant with H at the time.  I remember you driving me home down the windy road after I’d had a few cordials.  The ONLY times I ever went out there were with you and it just really really SUCKS that you won’t ever take us out there again.

We didn’t get back until well after 3pm, so I was grabbed H and ran off the bus this afternoon to find K – luckily a friend had stayed with her and we narrowly beat the groundsman who was locking up the gates.

The school fete is tomorrow and I must admit that I. Really. Don’t. Want. To. Go.  I hate the fete with a passion.  I would seriously rather the P&C charged everyone a flat fee every year and be done with the thing.   I’ve no idea how the hell I’m going to get the kids from *4* performances, two changes of clothes each AND still man the stalls I said I’d do.  Did I mention that I hate school fetes?  But I’ll suck it up and take the kids just the same….


Memory of the day….

To get to the farm today, we drove along roads I had only ever travelled along with you as it was the way to A’s old place / the way to the farm from your sharehouse.  One of the first times we drove through a particular intersection we both saw something that tickled our funny-bones in exactly the same way….

On one corner of the intersection is an old-style shop with a residence above.  The windows almost overhang the intersection.  The shop in question has been a solicitors for at least the past 20 years and has a big sign over the awning saying “SOLICITOR”.  The sign also happens to be directly underneath the windows of the residence.

On this particular day, there was a 40-something woman  in a full battle make-up and an old white nightie, sitting at the open window and smoking a cigarette … and looking decidedly like … well… ummm  …. a “solicitor” of a different trade.

We just looked at each other and burst out laughing, each getting the unspoken joke.   From then on, each time we went through that intersection, we’d look at each other and giggle.

I miss that.  The ‘knowing’ what the other person is thinking.  The shared joke from long ago, always remembered with a smile.

I miss you at unexpected times in unexpected ways.

I love you so much.