118 days….

A so-so day today.

The kids stayed at Mum’s last night and I went to Andrew’s birthday bash – and really felt your absence.  The lady I ended up getting a lift with is someone you knew from college ….. who was widowed in January as it turns out.
She had actually split from her husband two years previously and he’d remarried the mother of his youngest child just days before he died … but still a very sad lady. She is also a teacher at a nearby school.

B&J were at Andrew’s place along with J&A and their kids, so I was well looked after.  B&J had even packed an extra folding chair for me and a blankie.  It was a bonfire party, but still quite cold away from the fire.  Perfect viewing spot for the lunar eclipse though 🙂

The kids had a ball at Mum and Dad’s and we all went to the local markets this morning.  Fairly boring market in the scheme of things, but the point is that I chose to go out somewhere on a Sunday morning.


The knowing that you will never do stuff with us again sucks.  I want you *here* with us.

I want to hug you and feel the smooth curve of your back in my hands.  I want your wiry arms around me.  I want to rest my cheek on the smooth skin of your shoulder.  I want to hear your voice.  I need your warmth near me when I shiver in the cold.

I miss you so very much.