123 days.

Well AF arrived this morning just as I’ve had a meltdown of epic proportions about not wanting to go on holiday today.  At least now I know why I’m so weepy all the time and the little things are getting to me so much this week.

Even so, I really don’t want to go to the coast even though it’s only for a night.

I don’t think I’ll ever want to go on holiday again.  I’m at the point of calling J and S and seeing if they can get their money back on the weekend away they’ve organised for us in October.  I really don’t want to drive down to NSW for one night then, just as I don’t want to go up the coast today.  I really don’t want to go anywhere at all.  It’s just not a holiday without you and will only make me sadder than I already am.

I hate driving on the highway.  It’s all I can think about – having to drive up and back.  I won’t enjoy myself at all because it’s all I can think about.

Driving on highway is your thing.  I do the city driving because the congestion and traffic don’t get to me.  Highway speeds to get to me.  It’s all too fast.  And it’s bloody raining today.

Well it seems I’m sinking further down this shithole.  It’s getting worse, not better.

I fucking hate this shit.