126 days….

I woke up in a state this morning.  I slept in again and heard the kids making a lot of noise in the loungeroom.  I sighed and thought “Greg must be playing with them” and went to roll over and snooze when I remembered.  It hit me like a freight train.  I spent much of the morning in tears again.

Despite these dark days, I do think that we are moving through the grief.  It’s just a bit too real at the moment.  The certain knowledge that you will never return is finally sinking in.

Your sister N and D and kids visited today.  They have been really good of late.  M is home from OS and C was wanting to have every toy car here and would take the Torrie if he could.  He was determined that I “look after Uncle Greg’s car now that he is in heaven” (he’s hard to understand in his stuttery voice).   I got the impression that I should be making sure it is working OK and not just sitting in the garage.  I said it was safe but perhaps I should spend more time looking after Uncle Greg’s children.  He wasn’t that worried about them. Funny kid.

GC and co are supposed to turn up tonight but were still at the farm when I rang an hour ago.  I told them to make sure they found their own dinner on the way here as they’d be too late for here….. and now we are going over to Mum’s to share her ginormous mud crab.  Yum.  Murph caught it for her and it was enough to feed 10 people (well, 10 people who eat like Mum … probably only 2 people who eat like GC).

I love you so much.

XA

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