132 days….

Last day of school holidays today.  Well the kids get tomorrow off, but I am back at school.  I’m not sure exactly what I’ll be doing but I know I have work  for at least some of this term.
I know the deputy thinks I’m good.
I know the kids like me.
Hopefully I’ll have work all term.

I think these holidays have been tough.  I had time to mope.  To sleep-in. To read.  To excercise. To cry.  To howl at the moon.
Working has mean that I’ve delayed some of the grieving.  That’s OK because work adds to my “pile of good things”. But the grieving has to come out.


I bought a dvd of the movie “Gladiator”.  I always liked that movie but thought the ending was so sad.  Now I don’t think so.  Now I see that the ending is beautiful.  AS it should be.  He finally got to go home.


The kids and I have been invited next door fora roast dinner tonight.  I used to make roast dinner about once a week but haven’t made is since you died… we’d be eating roast meat for a week!  Still, it will be nice to go and relax with friends.


I pruned the mulberry tree today.  Remember how much we loved picking mulberries,  You especially.  You were always so keen to turn them into pie or jam, whereas I was just happy picking them and eating them.

You were such a fan of home-grown food.  You missed out on all the tomatoes and pumpkins we were growing in the garden.  There are pawpaws growing, still green now but which you would have loved.  I’ve put in lettuce but couldn’t face putting in beans – beans were your thing.

I miss you more and more each day.

I love you.