140 days….

Monday Monday Monday.  Back at school and back with kids who simultaneously drive me nuts and keep me sane.  This is in addition to K & H of course.

Apparently H has been a complete delight at school of late according to Ms McG – which is great because most of the little beggars go completely wild over the holidays and it generally takes a few weeks before they remember their manners.

There may be changes afoot in his classroom though … but GOOD changes.  Will wait and see what this week brings.

K is still a sad little girl.  I have to walk a very fine line between making her feel safe and loved and happy and enforcing the rules.  She can dissolve into pieces if she gets in trouble for ANYTHING…. and she just so badly wishes you’d come back.

Which is hard because I do too.  So hard to turn around and confirm that Daddy isn’t coming home ever again.  I think she’s beating herself up that she was less than cuddly during our final family cuddle.  She said she thought you’d be home in the afternoon and she could cuddle you then.  Poor love.

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I heard a new song on the radio this morning.  A new local talent (well  – new to me anyway).   This song brought me to my knees over breakfast:

The Mystery of You
Mark Sholtez
When I’m dead and I’m gone
I hope that I’m going to heaven
Not to be walking around with Jesus
I can take that or leave it
But I’ve got one thing
I need him to shine his light on

From the beginning of time
I mean the first time I saw you
I was mumbling, fumbling, falling
Baby my heart went all in
No explanation
In no sight of rhythm or rhyme

As if life can’t be trouble enough without this puzzle of love

I’m looking for reasons
I’m searching for footprints
Looking for answers and evidence
Asking all the questions
Searching for clues
Looking for answers to the mystery of you

From the first word you said
Well the first thing I heard was laughing
The minute you turned to me smiling
Baby that’s when I dived in
Infatuated
Spinning in the curl of your dark hair

Oh baby I don’t know how I’m gonna figure you out

I’m looking for reasons
I’m dusting for fingerprints
Looking for fragments of evidence
Asking all the questions
Searching for clues
Looking for answers to the mystery of you

Oh, answers to the mystery
Hey, look at what you’ve done to me baby

I’m looking for reasons
I’m searching for footprints
Looking for answers and evidence
Asking all the questions
Searching for clues
Looking for answers to the mystery of you

I’m looking for reasons
I’m dusting for fingerprints
Looking for whispers of evidence
Asking all the questions
Searching for clues
Looking for answers to the mystery of you
Answers to the mystery

I seriously hope you are in Heaven but that Jesus is shining a huge light on us.  It would be nice if he could shine one on you as well…

I love you so much.

XA

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