147 days….

Thanks for the dream last night.

I know I was crying in the shower last night, thankful that we had that long lovely cuddle on the morning of your death.   Sad that I desperately want to hug you like there’s no tomorrow … and realise that there IS actually no tomorrow…

…and then I dreamed about you being here for a short while – I knew you had to go again, but you helped me do something (clean the house I think – now this is how I knew I was dreaming!), helped my Dad, had a laugh about my Dad with me and gave me the warmest, tenderest cuddle I ever had. I remember thinking ” remember this … he will have to go soon”.  I had my head on your bare chest and could remember every nook, every cranny, every broken collarbone….. You were happy and smiling and assured me you’d be around but couldn’t stay.

I miss you, but thanks for the “visit”.

I love you.