165 days…

I kept both kids home from school today.  K was OK last night and didn’t spew again (thanks for that).  She was … Okish today.  H was fine, but he would have had idiot teacher today so I thought a day off wouldn’t hurt him (it’s already a short school week due to them having Wednesday and Thursday off for the Ekka).

I made pumpkin scones and pumpkin soup for dinner and K has eaten the little bit I gave her.  I’ve had her on toast and water all day and she hasn’t spewed for 24 hours now … but still very pale and peaky.  Poor love, her birthday is on Sunday and it’s already going to be hard enough without you here … but being SICK and not having you here will suck even more.


I got a wedding invite from one of your old friends today.   My least favourite one.  You know who I mean…..  I’m not going to go but it is nice to be asked.  Actually, I’m sure they are counting on me not going as the wedding is 3 hours away and the kids aren’t invited.  Oh well.  I guess I’m a bit miffed that I haven’t heard from him since your funeral AT ALL and then I get a wedding invite out of the blue.  In all likelihood he has no idea what to say to me. …

At least your other friends have been great and it would be nice to spend time with them at the wedding…
… Andrew calls every month or so and is building the fence (at some point I’m sure), Mackie will sell your motorbike for me, Dave & R have worked out a good way for me to keep your car on the road WITHOUT having to pay a bazillion dollars in rego, and D from work has visited a couple of times and e-mails regularly.  …and Donna has phoned me.  darling Donna who wouldn’t speak to me for the first few months after I met you because she had been in love with you for years.  God love her.  She has turned out to be a real trooper.


I missed you lots today.  I’m right back at the “HOW is it that you are agone? WHY does God hate me?”.

There are no answers.

I love you beyond breath.