168 days…

I was so tired at school today.  All this worrying, hand wringing over K’s birthday has really taken it out of me.

As I was going to bed last night the thought struck me that I have now been a parent for 8 years … and a widow for 5.5 months.  Being a new parent was bewildering but I eventually got good at it – the breastfeeding, the sleeping, the raising of happy and contented kids.

Somehow, I don’t think being a widow gets much less bewildering over time….


School today and the normal teacher for the all boy class I do literacy support with was away.  The boys were eating the young supply teacher up for breakfast when I arrived.  I managed  to return the boys to some sort of order for her but I don’t know if she’ll be back again.

Then I had the other year 3s and their lovely teacher let me skive off a few minutes early so I could spend som time in K’s class and hand out birthday cakes…. with just enough over for me to sneak a few spare cupcakes up to H and his aide for morning tea.

I had PD this afternoon with our fantastic literacy coach.  She has such brilliant ideas.  I just wish I could download her brain straight into my head.  …and also her hair… that girl never has a hair out of place and always looks a million dollars.


Tonight I’m feeling sad again.

But I plod on.

One foot in front of the other.

Missing you with every breath,.

Loving you more each day.