174 days….

Quite freaky waking up this morning to the Kate Miller-Heidke song “The Last Day On Earth”.  That song is so beautiful and meaningful (T made her own cover it the song and recorded it and we played it at your funeral over photos of our life together … did you realise that was T singing or did you just think it was actually KMH like everyone else??).

But it meant that I started the day feeling pretty fragile.

So what did I do?


We have sparkling bathrooms and you could eat off the floors.

I threw away old shoes and reorganised the bathroom cabinet.

I dusted the bookshelves and scrubbed the gunk out of plug-holes with an old toothbrush.

I am a stress cleaner.

…. but I remember you once saying that you wished I got really stressed more often.  Funny Bugger.

Anyhooooo…. J / BFF rang this morning and all but demanded that I palm K&H off onto her for the day…. and I actually did.

It was wonderful and what’s even better, THEY had a great day playing with S,K&A.

I can’t leave the kids with just anyone.  I’m at ease it Mum, Pete, Leanne  or J has them, but anxious if GC or T has them (’cause I hear about how naughty they are).

Ironically, J has said they were a delight ALL DAY and I know she wasn’t shitting me.  The kids all played together beautifully ALL DAY.  no fights. no tantrums. no problems. just fun.  They really only seem to have a problem with that one set of cousins … who are really good kids themselves, it’s just that their parents don’t quite get that they aren’t perfect all the time ( no kids are) and sometimes, it really IS their fault.

So I took myself out to do the fantastic task of grocery shopping (but treated myself to a coffee first).

Among other things, I am set for bookweek dress-ups next week.  I haz Mexican Poncho and I haz sombrero .  Now I just need to locate a children’s story featuring Mexicans.  I’m sure I can do it.  I can think of “Alice Nizzy Nazzy” but I’m sure there’s a better one I could pick.

K wants to go as Tashi, but I’ve convinced her that her patented Pippi Longstocking would be easier and more fun.  H is meant to go as someone from another culture COMBINED with a book character.  He wants to go as a pirate (from Captain Flinn and the Pirate Dinosaurs).  I guess “Pirate” is a culture……


I really feel that you are around me … especially with all the bloody 11s (I love them).

I know you are there.

Please be there.

Dear God,but I hope you are there….

I love you.