212 days..

We spent the day at home today.

Screening calls. Hiding from the world.

I know people are just checking in on us, but you know what an introvert I am (even though people often mistake me for an extrovert).

I *need* my own head space and these school holidays are giving that to me.

I just can’t catch up with different people every day.  I want to see them, but I need to get my life organised.  I need to sort through mountains of stuff that have just been left until the holidays.

After all, I still have loads of your hoarded crap to get rid of….

It seems everyone else’s kids complain about “boredom” during the school holidays: K & H know better than to say they are bored.  I will give them a job to do.

They make their own fun and I think this is a valuable skill to have.


The tears hit me again tonight.

I have kind of blocked-out the fact that you aren’t here for the past week.

But I saw someone’s holiday snaps on Facebook and remembered that we always planned to go overseas once the kids were older.

Then I heard a beautiful love song on a Spicks and Specks rerun and I felt like it was from you.

I’m still floored when I remember just how much we loved each other.  Sometimes I think I can still feel your love.

I love you to the moon and back.


PS – a fun fact:  when I cry sitting up, tears run into my mouth.  when I cry lying down, they run into my ears.  Is this a design feature for widows do you think?