227 days….

Some days I do a great impression of coping.

Other days, not so much.

I’m usually good at it while I’m at school …. but it kills me that I only started working there AFTER you were gone.  I would have liked to share so many stories with you.

Other times, I fall down hard.

…and last night I had an attack of the “Why The Fuck?”s

Seriously – WHY?

Why does bad shit happen to good people?

Why do complete arseholes sail through life, yet people who only try to do good / help others / tread lightly … why do they get dealt a metric ton of shit?

Sometimes, I think that God is at his computer, watching me on web cam, and repeatedly pushing the special “SMITE” button  on his keyboard.

My faith used to be so strong.

Now, I believe in God, but I also believe he is a supremely nasty piece of work.

At least that’s the way he seems to me.

I hate this shit.

I hate you for being dead.

I love you.

XA

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