247 days….

J has been trying to convince me that it’s been 9 months since you died.  I told her she was wrong.  She said she’d worked it out four times and she was the mathematician after all.  So I counted it out for her…. holding up 8 fingers as I did so.

She laughed and said that while she could see there were 5 fingers on one hand, and 3 on the other, in her head that equalled 9 ….

We laughed about it in a ” 8 months / 9 months …. it’s still all complete crap” kind of way….


It turns out that the school can actually run a sweep … I got second and won a whopping $7.70.  Not bad for a horse race I couldn’t really care about….


Oh, and I will have to go and stand up for myself tomorrow….. one of the young teachers (who is as dumb as a box of hammers, yet thinks she is brilliant) rushed up to me this morning and said that she wouldn’t be able to relive me from lunch duty today as she had an excursion… “Well”, I said … “You are meant to organise a duty swap”  but didnt’ add “just like everyone else does”.  “Oh no – just tell the kids they can only play for 10 minutes then send them in”.
600 kids in this school and about half of them inhabit the oval during any given lunchtime.  Sooooo not going to happen.

So I did double duty …. and I’ll tell her that I expect her to repay the duty … just like I’m repaying the duty I had to swap last week when we were on an excursion.


I feel tired and cranky tonight.  I had a good cry in the car again today …I hate doing that.



I miss you. I wish you were here even if only for me to dump this shit on you and hear you say “she’s an idiot”.

You were such a supportive bloke …

I love you.