259 days….

Back at school today and everything was fine with my class.

H was still in a foul mood and I spoke with his teacher – it seems that remembrance day really upset him.  He wrote in his communication book that he’d be a soldier when he grew up because it wouldn’t matter if he died – he’d just be with Daddy.


Little people don’t process this shit well.


I am currently getting caught up in all the “never the same” or “never again” things that we did together.   Things that I miss doing with you and there isn’t a single other person on the planet that I would ever want to do those things with.

and that just sucks.


I’m over the ‘forever’ part of this shitty deal.  It’s not fair.  I’ll never get used to it.  It will always hurt.

I miss you.

I love you.