265 days….

only 100 days left ib this first terrible year of widowhood.

Strangely, this news does not make me happy.

I had a bit of a revelation last night … I was just reading random crap in a magazine and was reminded that one of the many benefits of Omega-3s is as a mood lifter.

Yep – I hadn’t had fish in weeks (unusual – we usually have seafood at least once if not twice a week) and I really hadn’t had a great deal of meat at all.

Thursday night I made garlic prawns and had the left-overs on Friday for lunch.  Friday night we had fish and chips and Mum and Dads, and we had the leftover fish on Saturday night.

Four days of seafood meals.

and by today, I feel on more of an even keel.

Coincidence?

I still don’t know how I’ll get through the rest of my life (rest of this year, month, week, day, minute, breath??) without you.  But at least by today, I’m in a more fit mental state to put one foot in front of the other and keep going.

You were always my mood stabiliser and you are gone.  Your hugs aren’t there to pick me up.  I don’t feel your hand on my back or your chin on my shoulder when I’m feeling blue.

I miss you so much.

I love you.

XA

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