268 days….

I’m not wonderfully happy about the way I was told but it seems that I can expect to get work next year … just not sure what or when – I’m on “flexible” staffing.

Not happy because a graduate got put on permanent as I was told that graduate would be ME, and also because another supply teacher is on class and I know that the lower years teachers prefer me…. because they’ve all told me this AND I’m the one they request.

But … I have a job.

The other news … which I guess you already know … is that I saw that psychic this week.  if she weren’t bang on with so many things I’d think she was a nutter.  Lovely, but a nutter.

She knew how you died, that it was quick, even to when I’d miscarried at how many weeks at which number pregnancy. I’m now also checking my tyres and she knew tehre was a problem with the house foundations (a spring under your house does tend to cause the odd problem).  She urged me to buy a new car and have the house checked out.  She also told be that I should fight for more money … and knew this was totally not my style.

I’m a suffer-on-through type, not a stand up and make a spectacle type…. for myself.  I’m like a lioness protecting her cubs for anyone else’s fight.  She also told me to stop taking on the problems of the world and to fix myself first.

All I told her was that I was a widow.

The upshot of her reading was that she wondered how I was still standing … and I suppose I have no idea myself.  Lets hope this really is rock bottom then and I can claw my way back.

I am going to try to get sleep tonight – wish me luck.  Last night I managed 5 hours.  Not so bad but months of it are getting me down.

Miss you.

Love you.