317 days….

The sun shone today and consequently my world felt brighter.

Finally, a summer’s day!

but looks are so deceiving.  I of all people, should know this as I show my brave face to the world while I’m crumbling inside.

Insidious, swirling, creeping flood-waters have inundated the city.  Of course we are fine here (aside from the power outage that initially sounded like it would be 2 days long, but in fact was only 3 hours long).

But Leannie is at her home with her kids …. and the neighbours whose house has been inundated, whilst S is stuck in town.

She said that her mind caught a glimpse of how hard it is for me to be here without you.  The emotional support.  The making of decisions. The fear.

The opening of the bloody garage doors without power ( Tony came over and figured it out for me today).

and today I do find myself wishing beyond all reason that you were here.

You were just here.

I’m sure of it.

I need you to tell me what I should do.

I need you to laugh at my feeble efforts of fixing things.

I need you to hold our kids and kiss their tears away.

and I need you to hold me.


I miss you.

I love you.