341 days…

Something strange happened this morning…

I was feeling good about my current job / kids / excited at the prospect of the deck /having an intelligent debate with someone with a brain (God how I miss arguing the toss with someone who thinks about what they say)…

…and thought “my life is so good right now

… aside from the fact that you aren’t in it”.

I think this is as close to normal as I’ve felt in almost a year.

… oh I know it won’t last, but it felt good to feel good, even for only a few minutes.

I know I will crash soon enough.

I don’t know how exactly to prepare for it, but I think having my little bro around for at least part of the anniversary will help.

Doing something positive about the house and the water problem will help.

…and a sign from you will help.

I miss you.

I love you.



PS – I just finished reading Audrey Niffenegger’s “Her Fearful Symmetry” which is really quite a lovely ghost story.  I’ve fallen asleep each night, dreaming about being able to feel your cold, ghostly touch on my cheek.  This would have provoked nightmares Before … but now, I find it so soothing.

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