342 days…

More of the same almost-normal feeling.


I just wish you were here to enjoy the beauty of an almost-normal day with me.

Our Ordinary Days were such a gift.  I never realised what a complete and utter miracle each and every ordinary day was until After.

After .

.. when I just want to get a randomly hugged and to be perfectly honest – groped – as we wandered past each other while doing chores.

…when I want to curl up on the couch with you and watch myth busters or top gear or junk yard wars or whatever other crap you liked watching on the tele.

….when I want to snuggle into you in our bed as I fall asleep.

…when I want someone to hold me and tell me that my life really isn’t over.  someone I could believe.

So I take the gift that is this not-quite-normal ordinary day and appreciate the fact that I haven’t cried much.  that I am on top of most things.  that the kids are healthy and as happy as they can be given … well … you know.

It doesn’t stop me from missing you like a part of myself is gone.

Or loving you like there’s no tomorrow.


UPdate:  How could I have forgotten?  Maybe I blanked it out?  I dont’ know.

But today marks the 18th anniversary of the night we met.

That night when we looked at each other and recognised a kindred spirit.

We both *knew* from the minute we set eyes on each other that we were no longer alone.

We were found.



It makes me think that the gift of an “almost-ordinary-day” was you present to me.

Thank you.