389 days…

As I write, GC is in the garage, replacing my broken radiator with a new one he sourced for me this week. Instead of costing $395 to have the radiator replaced at the local repair shop (this was the BEST price), GC has replaced it with a new one which has cost me $150 (the actual cost of the radiator).

…and this morning, he left for work and will continue home, and won’t be back again for a while….

So while the last month has had its ups and downs … and a lot of tongue biting from me … by the end of it, we were getting on OK on all things EXCEPT the elephant in the room (the farm) although I think he knows my thoughts on that now.

I’m glad he’s gone, but at the same time, I’m glad he was here.

Shocking, I know.


K did a stellar job in her maths test from a few weeks ago (I peeked at the scores).  She’s in the top bracket which should mean that she’ll be in a good position if they stream the maths classes next year.

…and H!  *I* had to make his “moving toy” project this time … no Daddy to help with that…. and he blew them away with his hovercraft.  It didn’t hurt that he’d seen me make one before, but he knew why each part was needed and could explain the forces (push) and energy (kinetic to elastic potential to kinetic) to make the toy move.  …and his design was spot on.


But none of this stopped me from having a Big Ugly Cry before I sat down to write this….

For some reason, I was struck with the sadness that you wouldn’t be at the big events in the kids’ lives.

You wont’ be at primary or high school graduation.

You won’t see them achieve their ambitions.

Get their license.

Their first car.

Graduate from uni.

Fall in love.

But mostly that you won’t walk K down the aisle when she gets married, you won’t give H a congratulatory hug when he weds, and you won’t be able to smell the heads and snuggle tiny grandbabies.

…and yes, I can *hear* you accusing me of  “being my own grandmother” but you know how I like to plan ahead!

Maybe they’ll choose different paths, but you’ll miss those too.

You’ll miss it all and I’ll have to do it all by myself.

and that sucks.

I miss you.

I love you.