453 days….

It’s 15 years since Pop died.  It seems like an eternity… and yet “only” 15 years.

That means that my Nan was only a widow for 14 years, 10 months.

I don’t know how she did it…. but I figure that I’ve got about 50 years to work it out.


Today was unintentionally social.

I had planned that we’d have a very quiet weekend …. especially since Mum and I went out to see your (and my own) official headstone yesterday.

A big day….

So today, I was looking forward to taking things quietly….

… but I think you knew I’d be feeling a bit down so you sent Andrew over to cheer me up.

He is the only one of your friends who’s been near me in the last year.  … the others said they’d be here for us, but … nothing.

Andrew never fails to make me feel good about myself.

He’s toned down the outrageous flirting he always tried on in front of you, but he is a true charmer.

He reminds me that I’m still young and attractive even though I feel ancient and invisible.

And the harmless flirting feels good.

… because I know I can trust him and he loves you and me both so much that he’d never *really* try anything on with me.

I think it’s because he remembers what his life was like after his Dad died when he was very small.

I miss you.

So much.

I love you.