494 days…

Today started out wrong.

Really wrong.

I Did Not Want To Go to another ceremony centred around death, yet there we were, travelling up the highway (ugh) to meet with the rest of the fam at the cemetery and go inter Nan’s ashes with Pop’s.


It was OK.

Nice even….

We met with Pete and kids, Mum and Dad, Uncle and Aunty, cousins and their spouses and kids at the beach where we lazily picnicked amongst the elitist snobbery that inhabit beach-side resorts during holiday season…

except there were no elitist snobs there, just nice families and tradies having lunch at the beach.

The kids (all 7 of them) played at the playground before wading into the river to catch soldier crabs and find shells.

I convinced Pete’s middlest girl to hold a crab in her hand and she beamed.


Mum and I picked up Nan’s ashes from the crematorium.

She was heavy for a waif.

…and a big surprise when we finally made the cemetery …. the new plaque with both Nan and Pop’s details had been placed when they were sure it couldn’t have been done in time while all the family was in the one country.

The groundsman had dug a hole and told us how to placed the ashes before discreetly leaving us and the minister to our task.

Nobody was really sad, I mean Nan was 94 years old and more than ready … but I teared up when I saw her little box being placed next to Pop’s slightly weathered one.

Finally together again … in body anyway.

….and I hoped that you were standing next to me, standing in the warm winter sunshine with my whole family as we said our final goodbyes to Nan.

I hoped that you took a handful of dirt to place on the grave (and what great topsoil it was – Pop would have been well pleased, no doubt wanting us to plant something in it).

I hoped that you stood with the kids as they wondered about the differences between cremation and burial and worried about what it was like inside your grave (the topsoil isn’t as great, that I can tell you).

I hope you are there, standing right next to me now as I type.

Because I’ve really been missing you quite badly this week.

I love you.