2 years.

Two whole years that simultaneously feel like two minutes and two centuries.

The fog and numbness have gone this time – it’s just pure loneliness and loss this year: I miss you so badly.

I took the day off work …. I got some raised eyebrows when I did this, but thankfully not from my boss. (He is an odd boss – simultaneously infuriating and marvellous).

Plus I needed it after yesterday

I took the kids to visit your grave.  Finally.  They haven’t been since you were buried.  I haven’t been because I don’t think you are there…..
I didn’t expect the reaction they had.

H cried.

K was quiet.

They sang a song in the car on the way “Our Daddy died on the first of March.  It’s the first of march today”.


They brought some stones they had decorated and carefully placed them on your (our) headstone.

…and we put in a solar light with a dragonfly on it.

The we left.

I treated the kids to lunch in a cafe before coming home.

We miss you.

We love you.