The night you died, L and S just arrived out of the fog.
I loved that they dropped everything and were there for me.
In the days after you died, I felt like I was floating. Disconnected to this world. I was transparent and flying.
My world has shrunk. It used to be huge, but now it is miniscule
Without you, the sunlight is gone from my days and the moon-shadow from my nights.
I had my “talk” with school staffing inspectors about emotional and financial hardship and dead husbands and fathers and so the need to keep working at the school I am at except maybe they could make me permanent with all the Dead Husband shite and no, I didn’t want to go back to high school teaching and I need to work close to home because of how shit my life is …and threw in a “BTW, I have a PhD in science and used to rock the living shit out of my sciencey job” and you know what they came back with? High school science on The Other Side Of Town.
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© Amanda and Letters to my Husband, 2010 onwards. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given.