775 days

Or 2 years, 1 month, 13 days


I am slipping down the rabbit hole again.

I keep coming back to the fact that you are gone and it is so unfair and it all just sucks the big one.

Every single thing I do is touched with the thought “Greg would have liked this” or “Greg would have done that” or “Last time I was here, Greg was with me”.




I  refuse to move on.

I refuse to learn any great meaning from life from this.

I refuse to be happy.

… and I reject the idea that I need to do anything else than develop a greater level of patience as I wait until it is my turn to die*.

It is all fucked.

…and I am sick of it.


* Not suicidal ….. I am just tired of existing.