A busy day today.
I dropped the kids at school then dropped a heap of documents off to the solicitor.
Hopefully she can get probate underway if nothing else. I hope she can also get the compensation claim underway too. I hate that I have to do this job. The only reason I have to talk about probate and compensation is because you are dead. It feels mercenary … and yet I know that it is the right thing to do for the kids and I. I’m simultaneously thankful for compensation that does get paid, yet saying “is that all G was worth ?” I wish I could pay it all back to have you here.
I also had a date with the gynae and his horrible scanner. This is a new bloke that you never met. He’s young but at least he is funny and not like Dr Grumpy-Pants who delivered H and had a grand tour of my innards when I had that lesion on my cervix a few yeas back. So yeah, we are on Ob/ Gynae #3 now. Hopefully this one won’t retire or run off on me…
Then off to pay some bills.
I did get a bill today that I refuse to pay. The rates notice on the farm was sent *here* as a default. I bet GC will think I should pay the whole thing. Frankly, I dont’ want to pay any of it, but I guess I’m obligated to pay half. I know you took pity on him and offered to pay his share of all the farm stuff, but I am just not going to do that. I wasn’t happy then and I’m not happy now and legally, I am only responsible for half the expenses as we only own half the farm. I also now know the story of his “deal” on the original house of his and T’s. T’s father owned half and GC and T were to buy him out. Apparently T’s Dad is still waiting for the money, 10 years later.
So no, I’m not paying GC’s share of anything.
There are times when I think I’m a real head case and then I think there are times that are just too weird not to be something more than this life….
Like the randomised “album cover” game I played yesterday on Facebook. I go a gorgeous beach- sunset-peaceful scene, the band name of Fey-en-Heye and the album title: “Unconditional Acceptance o Life and What it Brings”.
Trying to tell me something?
What about my melt-down last night when I decided it was OK to stop being Mrs “Holds-it-Together” and that maybe becoming an alcoholic was in my future. So the random quote in the book on grief I opened at the bookshop today??? “If you weren’t a stronger person, I’d expect you to turn to alcohol“.
Yup. OK. Got it.
Definitely telling me something.
Thanks. I know you love me…
…and I’ll love you forever