The death march part 3: birthday week

Zen Garden by grizzlysghost

Zen garden by the immensely talented and all-round nice guy, Aaron Aldrich.

So – only one more week (and a few days) until March 1.
Only three more days until his birthday.

Still the nightmares about the accident.  

Still that vivid mental image of how his arm looked in his work shirt contrasted with the smashed watch and phone that were given back to me.

Still the crying at odd times.

Still stressed about work….

… but

still …. Fine. 
 
I know I am teetering on the edge of “fine”  and “f#cked-up” though.

I know it won’t take much to make me lose my balance and go tumbling down the rabbit hole.

I am hoping that there isn’t that One Single Straw that floats onto my back to break me into small pieces.

But so far ……

Still fine.

Just.