775 days
Or 2 years, 1 month, 13 days
I am slipping down the rabbit hole again.
I keep coming back to the fact that you are gone and it is so unfair and it all just sucks the big one.
Every single thing I do is touched with the thought “Greg would have liked this” or “Greg would have done that” or “Last time I was here, Greg was with me”.
Every
Single
Thing.
I refuse to move on.
I refuse to learn any great meaning from life from this.
I refuse to be happy.
… and I reject the idea that I need to do anything else than develop a greater level of patience as I wait until it is my turn to die*.
It is all fucked.
…and I am sick of it.
* Not suicidal ….. I am just tired of existing.
amen. Heard and received my friend.
I feel the same way. ((hugs))
I refuse to move on…
I understand this totally.
Love you Amanda. x
Oh boy..the 2nd (and 3rd and 4th and 5th) year was hard. I refused to move on, too. But these past two years I was forced to move on; my memories of him started to fade. I still haven’t learnt anything though…
I’m sorry. I’m in a similar place…again.
Tired of being depressed. Tired of living without her.
I wish we could help each other.
Amanda, my heart aches for you and your future. What you have is nothing like life when Greg was alive; having him ripped from your arms the way he was left a huge hole that nothing else can fill. Sending hugs as your family is held up to our universal healing power. May you and H and K find some solace with each other.
As always, I offer hugs and wish I could offeryou a heart band-aid. x
Darling, keep on writing. Write from your gut, your tears and your sorrow. You are not alone, although I am sure you feel you are sometimes. x