410 days….
I dropped the kids at J’s house this morning – thank goodness she offered to care for them today as I really didn’t want them going to another funeral (they’ve been to enough of those already in their young lives).
Then Mum, Dad and I drove up the highway (cringe) to Mum’s home town and started with the committal service at the crematorium and then the funeral at the church in town.
As per usual, I hated the committal. I don’t do well with a coffin in the room.
Just like I didn’t do well at your funeral service staring at that small wooden box which held the most precious thing in my world.
Today, I focussed on the coffin and wondered if Nan was comfortable in there. I mean, there doesn’t look like there’s enough room for her legs to be straight … and nobody wants an eternity of leg cramp.
Yes … these are the thoughts that occupy my mind while others are praying.
I nearly cried … but didn’t.
By the time we got to the church in town, I was OK. I carried out the Bible reading as requested by Nan and then shared some memories on behalf of myself and brother P.
and I did good.
Maybe I could speak at Nan’s service because, after your death, nothing much can phase me now.
….or maybe it’s because her death was timely and as far as death goes … not a bad one at all.
I don’t know – but there were no tears this time. Not that I wasn’t sad.
and do you know what else?
I got my butterfly.
I got the rainbow the day she died….
…. and today, as I gazed up at the stained-glass window behind the pulpit, the shadow of a butterfly played across the glass.
Nobody else saw it because they were all praying.
I’ll pay that one.
I miss you.
I love you.
Send more rainbows and butterflies please.
XA